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    Thursday, 11 June 2009

    How Times Change...

    Unbelievable... Mind Numbingly Unbelievable!

    I made a promise when I started this blog, to piss take, to satirise, to ridicule, but never to rant.

    Today is an exception.

    "DAVID CAMERON MR 10%" the Labour Party website screamed at me. Here are some excerpts:
    The Conservative Party has let the cat out of the bag and revealed that they plan to make spending cuts of 10 per cent across the majority of government departments.

    There is a choice between Labour which believes we must grow our way out of recession - and the Conservatives who have revealed that they would cut the vast majority of public spending by ten per cent


    Brown tried this shit yesterday at PMQs and has been roundly pissed on in this morning's press. The language is so telling - "let the cat out of the bag" - at least Andrew Lansley had the decency to tell the truth. Heaven forbid a Labour minister could so carelessly be straight with the public. Except that Andy Burnham too, in Labour's words "let the cat out of the bag".

    Andy Burnham effectively matched the Tories' spending proposals on Channel 4 news last night.

    The difference between the two parties over public spending is not, as Brown would have us believe, Labour investment versus Tory cuts. It is Labour deception versus Tory decency.

    Rant allowance used up.

    Wednesday, 10 June 2009

    UKIP Parody David Cameron as Hitler

    This Tory version of the traditional Downfall video was quite funny, until I realised that had been uploaded by 'ukipmedia'. What really unnerved me was when Nigel Farrage does a voiceover at the end with some party logo stuff, urging people to find out more about UKIP... having just likened David Cameron to Hitler...

    Don't get me wrong, I'm not objecting to the fact that it is a Tory version, I'm not that pathetically partisan. Granted most feature Gordon Brown, but they are hilarious when they are created for amusement purposes by people with a little too much time, whatever leader they depict. I just find it somehow different when used as part of a political campaign...

    Monday, 8 June 2009

    Gordon May Suppress... He Cannot Endure

    Not only is this video a wonderful illustration of what a tit Brown is - Obama beach (says a lot about the Queen fiasco, doesn't it?) - it also demonstrates just what a load of bullshit the PM spouts... often only to then fall into it...

    Note the caption: tyranny may suppress, it cannot endure.

    Pleasingly, well actually, maddeningly, ironic coming from the man who clings to power despite numerous clear signals that the public would quite happily string him up from a lampost with a variety of materials, a BNP banner being one... in fact, they already have. But of course, the rise of the BNP isn't Labour's fault right?

    Oh yes, you keep deluding yourselves that it is the Tories' failure to talk about immigration that has given the BNP their platform. That will be why voters are deserting the "Conservatives" in hoards in the "Conservative heartland" of the North, and flooding to the BNP is it?

    That doesn't wash... maybe it's not the Tories' fault?

    Ah yes, expenses, that must be it - blame expenses. We're unpopular because of expenses. Worst election results ever, because of expenses. Come fifth in the south, because of expenses. Why not blame both? All those nasty rich Tories and their nasty moats *boo hiss*.

    Presumably, if it is expenses, and seeing how awfully bad those nasty Tories have been, the Tories must have also taken a major hit...

    Oh.. um...

    Okay... err... maybe we can blame UKIP? Nasty UKIP with their nasty euroscepticism... the rise of the BNP and Labour's catastrophe must be their fault!? Because obviously, most UKIP voters are Labour voters right?

    Wrong? They're Tories? Err... okay... scraping the barrel here.

    Could the BNP have started in America? Labour's electoral crisis - a global crisis?... unprecedented...difficult times.

    Whatever it is, it obviously is nothing to do with the leader... Gordon is the right man... (repeat after Mandy) ...the right man for the job. He is getting on with the difficult (yes Peter, I'm saying it I'm saying it) task of leading the country through these difficult ti...blahblahblah...

    General Brown, under the orders of the First Secretary, hereby declares that he 'aint going anywhere, and woe betide anyone who suggests otherwise.

    Gordon (sorry, that should read Mandelson) may suppress the dissent in the Cabinet, may suppress the dissent in the party, may suppress the dissent among the activists, but there is only so long that he can suppress the dissent in the country.

    The tyranny of Gordon Brown and his First Secretary cannot endure. The question is whether the regime or democracy will crumble first.

    Monday, 1 June 2009

    Britain's Got Talent - Gordon Brown's stunning rendition of 'I Dreamed a Dream'

    There was a time when polls were kind
    When I floated aloft
    My words were uplifting
    There was a time when they were blind
    And the world came along
    Came along to the Docklands
    There was a time
    Then it all went wrong

    I dreamed a dream in time gone by
    When polls were high
    And I was winning
    I dreamed that I would lead and fly
    I dreamed the public were forgiving
    Then I was tough and unafraid
    But plans were made and used and wasted
    There was no high debt to be paid
    No ploy unsung, no plot went wasted

    But the vultures come at night
    With their voices harsh as thunder
    As they call for me to part
    And they turn my dream to shame

    I spent a summer riding high
    And now my days are surely numbered
    I took recession in my stride
    But then McBride arose to fame

    And still I dream of victory
    That I will live ten years in power
    There are no dreams that cannot be
    There are no storms I cannot weather

    I had a dream the polls would be
    So different from this hell they’re showing
    So different now from what I seemed
    Now I have killed the dream I dreamed