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    Tuesday 26 January 2010

    Tories' Secret Election Code BROKEN!

    For a while now, the Labour Campaign Team have been intercepting traffic out of CCHQ in an act of electoral espionage, trying to establish what the opposition are up to.* This has had limited success, for the Tories seemed to be communicating in some strange code. Hours, days, months were spent trying to crack it. Experts were flown in from all over the country, or at least the parts where McBride et al live in a bit to decipher the mysterious messages.** Not even the world's foremost experts could crack it. The code remained a mystery. UNTIL NOW!

    Yes. Ladies and Gentlemen, I can exclusively reveal that the code has been broken.

    In this EXCLUSIVE*** I can reveal the secret**** document, from CCHQ itself, in which advice is given to Party officials as to how to draft messages in the secret code.

    The document has the unassuming title "The New Logo & Party Visual Identity - A User's Guide". It sounds harmless, but what it contains is so explosive, that every intelligence agency in the world has, well, exploded.

    Neque porro quisquam
    est, qui dolorem ipsum
    quia dolor sit amet
    Sed ut perspiciatis unde
    omnis iste natus error sit

    Yes. That's right. Latin. Tories write letters in latin. Intelligence sources believe that this may have been a sleeper network put into place across a number of public schools across the south of the country. Eton declined to comment.

    *Probably true
    ** Likely to be party true
    ***So exclusive, no one will believe it
    **** See it for yourself -

    1 comment:

    1. Curses! We've been found out. Now we'll have to change our systems to work in Sanskrit or some other ancient and obscure language...